
Child Custody Mediation
What is custody meditation?
Child custody mediation allows parents to resolve disagreements about a parenting plan for their children. Parents typically choose custody mediation because the family court or their lawyers recommend it. However, parents can also refer to custody mediation when they have disagreements regarding custody issues.
During mediation, parents work with an expert to resolve their disagreements. If the parents can agree on a parenting plan, the mediator helps them write it down, and it may become a custody and visitation order once signed by a judge.
How to prepare for your first mediation meeting
Approach your mediation with an open mind and a willingness to listen. Parents who remain calm, honest, and attentive during mediation sessions usually are more successful in reaching a settlement and developing a mutually satisfactory parenting plan. Remember, everyone’s goal in the room is the same: to reach an agreement that is in the child’s best interest and avoid further court-related headaches and expenses.
The Do’s and Don’ts for Mediation
- Do focus on your child’s needs. Don’t focus on your needs.
- Do think of custody as a separate issue relating only to what is best for your child.
- Don’t discuss child support or property when trying to resolve your parenting plan.
- Do acknowledge your child’s special needs according to her age, temperament, and development.
- Don’t assume there is a standard plan that fits the needs of all children.
- Do acknowledge the other parent’s strengths and bring up only valid concerns about the other parent’s ability to care for your child.
- Don’t bad-mouth the other parent.
- Do acknowledge that your child needs time with both of you, in a safe environment, developed by a parenting plan.
- Don’t punish the other parent by withholding your children.
- Do go to mediation prepared with:
- A proposal for custody and a time-sharing plan.
- A calendar that identifies school holidays, your work schedule, and your child’s activities.
- A flexible and business-like attitude.